SoKeefe Forever
by Elover05
Summary: A bunch of SoKeefe one shots that I wrote, ranging from funny to sad. Enjoy! Updates will take forever. I am slow.
1. Sketchpad

**Okay, okay. To all the people who haven't read my other story: Go check it out! It's Called 'It's Hard to say I Love you', and It's filled with SoKeefe!**

 **To the people who are reading that story: Yes, yes, I know. I'm supposed to be on a hiatus. No, this is not me ending that. I decided to try and get rid of the writers block by writing some separate SoKeefe things. And this won't add on to the stress because it's not a story. It's a bunch of One-shots, and I'll be updating them whenever I get inspiration, so there might be a bunch of time between each update. (I know, the horror of slow updates!) But because I'm not going to worry about updating on a regular basis, these one-shots should not affect how long it takes for me to update my other story.**

 **And... I know there was something else I wanted to say here... I'll think of it later!**

 **Edit: I remember now (Yay!) I will take requests for this. However, I'm keeping this mainly PG, so please don't request anything sexual.**

 **Now, onto the story!**

 **(P.S., I wrote parts of this before Nightfall came out, and some things in here may not align with what happened there, so just pretend that this came our Pre Nightfall.)**

Keefe woke up, his eyes opening to see the ceiling of Fitz room. Why was he there? Right. The group had decided to have a sleepover. Keefe let out a sigh of relief. He could tell that he had slept in late, and his dad always yelled at him when he did that. Keefe was thankful that he didn't have to face his dad today. He was not in the mood.

He heard a little snore from next to him, and he turned over to see Foster curled up next to him, Ella was covering about half of her face, and Sophie tangled in her blanket. Her eyes fluttered every few seconds, so she was probably having a dream. She let out another of those tiny snores, and it melted Keefe's heart. She was adorable. Absolutely adorable.

Keefe made a mental note to make sure that moment stayed in his photographic memory, so he could draw it later. He had a sketch book dedicated to Sophie. It was filled with times that she unintentionally did something that made her look adorable, and Keefe recorded them all so he could look at them when he was feeling down. Even just a drawing of Sophie always made him feel better.

His personal favorite was one when he had decided to head over to Havenfield after a big fight with his father. He always went there when that happened. It just made him feel better.

When Keefe got there Sophie was feeding Verdi-Or rather, she was attempting to feed Verdi. The giant T-Rex seemed to have other plans. Apparently, Verdi had decided that the best way to get out of eating the weird vegetables was to throw them back at Sophie, successfully covering her bright orange glop-y stuff.

Sophie shrieked as a blast of it hit her, and Keefe found himself doubled over with laughter. This was hilarious.

"Fine! You can just starve if you keep acting like this. See if I care!" Sophie had shouted, stomping out of the enclosure. She wiped the back of her hand over her face in an attempt to wipe off the grime, but only succeeded in smearing it around more.

"You're gonna need a pretty epic shower after that you know!" Keefe shouted across the field, catching her attention. She grinned when she saw who it was, and started heading over to him.

"I know Mr. Obvious." She called back sarcastically. Keefe smirked. It waes rare that he got to see her sarcastic side, and he loved when he did.

"Well, just saying, you don't want to go around smelling like... Like whatever weird food that is." He saw Sophie roll her eyes as she got ever closer, and brought the smell with her. "And whoa, that reeks more than gulons!" He added, dramatically pinching his nose in a sign of disgust.

"Yeah, well at least you're not the one who's covered in it! How do you think I feel?" Keefe chuckled as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking adorable, as always. She stuck out her tongue at him.

"Why are you here anyway?" Sophie asked curiously. Keefe's features darkened as he recalled the events with the argument with his father. Sophie seemed to get what had happened from his expression. "Well, I would come over and give you a hug or something, but I doubt that you'd appreciate being covered in mashed up gahana root." Sophie told him with a small smile.

"Well, given Verdi's reaction to this so called 'Gahana root' I'll pass." Keefe said, grinning. "But who knows, maybe Verdi just has bad taste! After all, she doesn't seem to like you, And anyone who doesn't like the Mysterious Miss. F defiantly has bad taste." Even when she was covered in bright orange Gahana root, he could see her blush like mad and pull her hair around half of her face. And Keefe found himself staring. She was so beautiful.

Her happy and silly state was something that was rare back then, while she was haunted by memories of the Neverseen. Of course, she was still haunted. They all were. But time really had helped heal, and they all seemed better, especially Sophie. Back then, she never smiled, and nightmares came every night. That was still his all-time favorite page.

But, while that was his favorite, it wasn't the first. The sketchbook had started right after he came back home from the Neverseen. He remembered the nights he had stayed in Jolies room because he didn't have the courage to face his father. He remembered being Woken up from the sound of Sophie screaming, and when he went to check on her, she was curled up into a ball, sobbing. It broke his heart to see her like that. He remembered the rest of the nights, where she never slept. She used some of Biana's make-up to try and cover the circles under her eyes that were so dark, they looked like bruises. He remembered that going on for a week until Keefe had finally done something about it. He stormed into her room in the middle of the night, ignoring Sandor's complaints, and pulled Sophie into a tight hug. He remembered the initial surprise as she dropped the book she was reading, and then when she tried to convince him she was fine and he should go back to sleep. He wouldn't listen as he pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. Grady was just about to step in to get Keefe out of his daughter's room when Sophie finally broke down.

It was the first time Keefe had seen her cry for a long time. During the war, she had learned how to shield herself from all emotion. He never really understood it, but she just described it as 'Tying up all the emotions' He knew that it was probably for the best that she knew how to do that, but he could see the strain it put of her. And they weren't at war anymore. She could let herself feel now, without fear that her emotions would overpower her. And she did. Keefe could still feel the tidal wave of emotions that crashed down on him as she finally let herself feel. She had buried her face into his chest, letting his tunic collect her tears. She had wrapped her arms around his neck trying to pull him closer, and he gently stroked her hair, telling her comforting things like 'It will be okay' and 'Shhhh' and "I'm here.' Keefe remembered once Sophie had cried all she could, how she looked up into his eyes. Her eyes were red and puffy, and still filled with tears, but she just looked better.

"Thank you." Sophie said it so quietly that for a second, Keefe thought that he had imagined it. But as he looked into her warm honey brown eyes that were filled with gratitude he whispered

"You're welcome." Keefe looked at her eyes again. The wetness from the tears had wiped away most of the make-up she used to try and hide her dark circles, and he was reminded of how tired she must be. "Let's get you to bed." He said softly. Sophie shook her head wildly and buried herself back into his chest. He gently pulled her face away from his chest so he could look into her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him. Keefe gently placed his hand on her chin, guiding it so she looked at him with those gorgeous brown eyes, which were currently filled with fear. "What are you afraid of?" He asked quietly.

Sophie looked away again as she told him "I'm afraid of going back into the darkness." Keefe lightly put a finger on her chin and lifted her face so she was looking into his eyes again.

"Then I'll stay with you. That way, you won't have to go into the darkness alone. Will that help?" Sophie gazed up at him as she nodded her head yes. Keefe smiled down at her as he swooped her up into her arms, causing her to let out a small yelp. However, once she realized what was going on, she smiled her first real smile in months. He had forgotten how beautiful she looked when she smiled like that. Her whole face lit up and her eyes crinkled around the corners a little. Before he knew it, he was smiling too as he carried her over to her bed, and placed her down, then used the sheets to tuck her into bed. Finally, he dragged the chair she had at her desk over next to her bed, and sat down. He took her hand in his, just to remind her that he was there, and she was out like a light before you could say 'Mallowmelt' Keefe remembered looking down at her sleeping face, and that was when he knew: He loved her. Of course, he had had a crush on her for the longest time, but that was when he really knew that he loved her more than just a crush. He loved her, and wanted to always be at her side, to always be there for her and vise versa. And that was how his sketchpad started.

All of those memories came flashing back to Keefe in less than a moment when Sophie was still snoring, but it reminded him just how much he loved her. She wasn't just some girl. She was the girl who always had, and always would, hold the heart of the trouble maker known as Keefe Sencen.

Yeah, he was so going to keep drawing her.

 **Okay, so that is 1,607 words that I can't read without cringing. But then again, I can't read any of my writing without cringing, so maybe it's okay. Tell me in the reviews! Bye lovelies!**


	2. Nightmares

**Alright, I like this chapter! I hope you like it too! Oh, and happy thanksgiving! What are y'all thankful for? For me, it's my friends!**

Sophie felt the layers of forest pass by her in a blur. She was running, practically flying past everything and anything.

 _Footsteps on the ground._

She ran faster. She had to run. She couldn't stop. Stopping would mean bad things for her. Imprisonment, maybe, or most likely certain death. Her feet barely felt the ground as she ran for everything she had. For everything she loved.

 _Breathing down her neck_.

Sophie channeled all of the energy she had in a brain push. She couldn't quit now. She had made it so far! She couldn't give up. She just couldn't.

Shouts _behind her back._

Her energy was running out. She couldn't run forever, and there was no telling how much forest was left to go. A cold panic spread through her veins, like poison. This was it.

 _The thumping of her heart._

Sophie let her mind go, let her body take over, leading her through the woods. It was dangerous. And it was necessary.

 _Footsteps on the ground. Breathing down her neck. Shouts behind her back. The thumping of her heart._

She pushed herself. If she just worked a little bit harder, ran a little bit faster went a little bit further-she came to an empty grove of trees.

 _Harder. Faster. Further._

Sophie ran. Step by step. She made it to the end of the grove. The trees thickened. No one would be able to squeeze through their looming branches.

 _Trapped._

Her arms clawed at the trees. Her hands were bloody, she was exhausted. Her legs felt like spaghetti. Her knees collapsed, sending her tumbling to the ground. She was weak. She was useless. There was nothing she could do.

 _Weak. Useless. Nothing she could do._

Sophie was on her knees, her eyes on the grassy floor. She was bloody. She was bruised. She was broken. She was the last of the Black Swan. And she had lost. She had failed.

 _Failed._

The blood dripped down her face, covering her. The bruises throbbed, like they were taunting her. Reminding her. Her mind shattered, the guilt overpowering her.

 _Bloody. Bruised. Broken._

Sophie looked up. Cloaked figures. No hope. She stood. And she screamed. She screamed for everything she had, for everything she lost.

 _Scream._

Everything and anything she had ever felt, all of it, was leaving her with such force that it shook her. But she stood. The anger. The guilt. The sadness. She let go of all of it, letting instinct take control. This was her purpose. She was the Moonlark. This is what she was made to do.

 _Anger. Guilt. Sadness._

Sophie looked as one by one the hooded figures fell to the floor, each one hitting the grass with a dull thunk. Their eyes blank. Their mouths open. And Sophie smiled. She was going down. There was no question. She was going down, but she was taking them down with her.

 _Thunk._

One. One stood after everyone else fell. After it was all over. And she was still on her feet, despite the odds. And then, the cloaked figure stood. Two stood. One on each side. A dangerous match. She looked him in the eyes. Familiar eyes. A stab to her heart.

 _Ice blue eyes._

Sophie watched blankly as the hood flew back. Blonde hair. Those eyes. A friend. An enemy. A dagger in his hands. The blood dripping from it. The evil smile on his lips.

 _Dagger._

This was it. She couldn't fight him. She had nothing left. Her legs collapsed and she fell to the floor. She was on her back, looking up at the stars. They really were beautiful. Keefe leaned over her, the sunlight streaming through his hair.

 _Stars. Sunlight. What?_

Sophie saw Keefe life the dagger. She shut her eyes, trying to close out the sight of him standing over her. That malicious gleam in his red eyes.

 _Wait… red?_

A scream escaped her lips as she felt the dagger pierced her stomach, the pain almost unbearable. She felt the blood start to run down her stomach, and onto the soft ground. And then she let go. Let the darkness consume her. And felt a blood curling scream escaped her lips.

 _Darkness. Scream. Blood._

Sophie jerked up, a scream echoing from her lips as she took in gulps of air. The sheets clung to her because of the cold sweat she was covered in. She forced her eyes opened. Of course. It was just another nightmare.

Sophie clutched the sheets, and waited for Sandor to burst into her room. And then she remembered that he was out with Grizel tonight. The drama with the Neverseen had died down, so he had decided to go out. Grady and Edaline must've been in deep sleep, because they weren't banging on her door either.

And before she even knew what she was doing, her feet were taking her silently down the stairs, and too the first floor. And then she was walking to the Leapmaster 1,000.

She was just going for a walk. She wasn't going anywhere. Or, that's what she told herself. But then she was whispering 'Candleshade', and the light whisked her to where she knew she would find Keefe. She had to know that she was okay.

When Sophie arrived, she remembered that she was only wearing silk pajamas. Which would of been fine, had the ground not been covered in a thin layer of snow, chilling her to the bone through the thin fabric.

Sophie started banging on the door, praying that Keefe's dad was still up. After a few minutes the door whipped open, and the was Lord Cassius, looking confused. When he saw Sophie, he stepped aside, letting her in. He didn't ask questions. Though, that's probably what people were expected to do when a sobbing girl shows up at their house, in nothing but thin pajamas in the snow. You give them what you want.

Sophie raced to the Voltinator, and was rocketed up to Keefe's room. Her stomach wasn't happy with her, but she ignored the feeling of intense nausea as she rushed to Keefe's room door.

She had been to Keefe's house with him, but only on rare occasions. It still felt unfamiliar. But then Keefe's door opened, and there he stood. He looked confused and tired, but definitely _not_ evil

"Foster, what's up? Your emotions are goi-oof!" Sophie had cut him off by hurling herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar scent. He was okay. That was all that mattered. _He was okay._

"Woah, hey, it's okay. You're okay." Keefe said softly, gently running his hands in circles on her back, trying to help her calm down. "Was it a nightmare?" His voice was so gentle, Sophie could tell he was worried about setting her off again.

"Yes." Her voice was small, and it was muffled by how she was nuzzled into his neck, and so for a minute, she wondered if Keefe had even heard her, but then he said,

"Come on." Keefe gently lifted her off the ground and into his arms, carrying her bridal style, and leading her to his room.

Keefe set her down on his bed, but she still clung to him. She was still scared. "So, what's bothering my girl?" Sophie rolled her eyes, but the idea of a smile twitched her lips. "Not telling me? Well," Keefe murmured softly as he pulled away slightly and suddenly, a stuffed gulon was staring her in the face. "Maybe you'll tell Mrs. Stinkbottom!"

This time, the smile formed all the way, and she could see Keefe's smug smirk. "I don't know. Is Mrs. Stinkbottom gonna be nice?" Sophie asked, playing along with the game Keefe had made.

"Mrs. Stinkbottom would like me to inform you that she is always nice, especially to magnificent people like me and you." An actual laugh slipped out as Sophie sat up so she could see Keefe and Mrs. Stinkbottom better.

"Well, I still think Ella is better." Keefe gasped dramatically, clutching his heart as if he was mortally wounded.

"Mrs. Stinkbottom would like me to tell you that she no longer thinks so highly of you now that you have shown favoritism. You should watch your back, because I hear Mrs. Stinkbottom has some epic pranks up her sleeves. You've been warned." Sophie giggled, and propped herself up with her arm.

"Well, it seems she learned from the best." Sophie said softly, looking back into Keefe's eyes, which were like little pools of light that she was getting lost in, and for the first time, she seemed to realise that he had grown up. Matured.

Of course, she had known that he wouldn't stay 14 forever. But now, as a 17-year-old, he looked way too old that she seemed to remember. He was no longer the impish kid she had known.

His jawline had become more prominent, and he was a lot taller. He even had a bit of stubble lining his chin which- "Y'know Foster, as much as I enjoy watching you ogling me, I think your getting distracted." Sophie felt the blush rise up her cheeks, and Keefe smiled, looking proud of himself for making her blush.

"Sorry, it's just… you look so grown up." Sophie said quietly, reaching up and cupping his face in one hand without really thinking about it first. "And I know I've seen you grow up, but for some reason, it's like I'm only really realising you're not 14-years-old now." Keefe laughed softly, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers hesitating on her skin, successfully making her stomach erupt into fireworks. _What was that about?_

"And yet, you still look like a tiny 12-year-old. What's that about?" Sophie rolled her eyes, but a grin still made its way onto her lips. "Though, you do seem to be more beautiful. How did you even do that? You were already stunning, but now…" He playfully wolf-whistled, making Sophie gently shove him.

"Oh shut up"

"Me? Shut up? Never." And then suddenly, it was like they were just being pulled closer together, and then his lips were so close to her's, and she was ultra aware of the way his breath warmed her cheeks, and her eyes fluttered shut, and everything was happening so fast, and then his lips were on her's, and pure bliss shot through every part of her.

Keefe's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer as they leaned into each other. All too soon, they had pulled away from each other, leaving Sophie feeling to cold, and to lonely, even though Keefe was still there.

"That was…" Sophie couldn't think of a word that would properly describe the hurricane of emotions that kiss had made her feel.

"Amazing? Wonderful? Awesome?" Keefe suggested. Sophie nodded, and was a about to respond, when she yawned. "Oh, you're tired, aren't you?"

Sophie nodded. "It is past midnight, isn't it? Are you not tired?" Keefe shrugged.

"I think that kiss just gave me a huge blast of energy." He said with a wink. "But I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little tired. So I'll go get an air-mattress or something to sleep on. You can take my bed for the night." He was about to get up, but she tugged him back down.

"No." She cooed, snuggling into his chest. "Stay." She could feel Keefe's hesitation, but in the end, his desires won over as he slipped under the covers next to her, draping an arm protectively around her, making her feel comfortably tiny.

"G'night Keefe." Sophie murmured quietly, her words slurred. She burrowing into him as she started to drift of.

"Goodnight, Sophie" Keefe said, pressing his lips to her forehead, smiling when she hummed gently. And then her breathing slowed, and she was gone.

Keefe stayed up for quite a while, just watching the woman he loved as she slept peacefully, feeling happier than he could ever remember.


	3. Depression (Mature Chapter)

_**PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE. IMPORTANT INFO INSIDE.**_

 **Okay guys. This one is going to be different from my other one shots. All the other ones I've done are pretty happy, and appropriate. This one... is not. If you are young, or are triggered by depression, self harm, or suicide, then Don't read this. because this deals with all of those issues. There will be no swearing or sexual content or anything, but I'm still rating this chapter M because of some of the stuff it deals with.**

 **This is going to be really angsty and just... I don't even know how to describe it. The basic plot of it is that Keefe catches Sophie self harming. You might find Sophie acting really weird in this chapter. That's because, in this, she is going through depression, which twists your thoughts and actions into something you would never do normally. For example, self harming.**

 **I know that a lot of you might not agree with my decision to write and post this chapter, because KOTLC is a book for kids. But I'm posting it anyway.**

 **I have danced with depression and self harm. I'm not going to go into to that, because I don't want to depress you anymore, but I'm not going to be sugar coating this. I feel like people do that to often, even when they don't realize it. So I'm going to try and make this as raw as I can.**

 **Also, please forgive me if this story is terrible. It's a bit hard for me to write, because it talks about stuff that I've never really talked about before to anyone. And It's kind of hard to write it.**

 **And please, please don't think that this is me telling you that it's okay to self harm. It's not. It may feels like it helps, but in the long run, it will only hurt. And please don't ever commit suicide either. You have no idea how much your life really matters. If you ever think about committing suicide, you can find the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. I know it's really hard, but I also know that you can do it. Every single person is precious, and never forget that.**

 **Another, more innocent warning, this contains very small spoilers for Nightfall. Nothing big though.**

 **So, onto the story.**

Sophie let the blade roll across the once pure skin of her wrist, puncturing her skin. That was 20 marks in the last week. Too many. But also not enough.

She knew that she should not be doing this. She knew that she was stronger than this. But then large droplets of dark blood began to roll down her arm, and she felt herself relax. She felt the stinging pain of the fresh wound, and let it distract her. She wanted this pain. She needed it. Without it, she would break.

The drops of blood began to fall from her wrist, staining her sheets with a vibrant red. She would have to change those sheets.

She clenched her fist, and a new blast of pain shot through her arm. At first, Sophie winced in response, cringing at the now all-too-familiar sting.

And then Sophie smiled.

This was good. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it was wrong. But it was the only way. Sometimes, the only way to defeat pain was with pain.

These moments, alone at night, barricaded in her room, with the droplets of red staining her skin and sheets, was where Sophie felt most alive. It was a necessary distraction. To keep her mind off the guilt. Of the fear. Of the hopelessness.

It was also a way to say something that she couldn't say in words. A way of expressing, you could call it. A way of expressing something that needed to be expressed, with pain if not with words.

And a part of Sophie knew that she deserved this pain. The stinging of the blade. The pulsing pain after the wound had closed, and all that was left was a scab. She deserved to feel this agony. After every stupid, horrible thing she had done, this is what she got. She had killed Jolie, and Kenric, and Forkle. She was the reason fro Prentance's downfall. She had caused pain unimaginable. And so, this was the punishment she rightfully deserved. This was her penance. And eye for an eye, as they say.

Sophie's hands moved on their own accord as they picked up the blade, and made another gash on her skin. She bit her lip to keep from making noise, as she dragged it along slowly, painfully. Watching with a mix of horror and satisfaction as the blade tore her skin in a straight line.

When the sharp razor had finally reached the end of her wrist, she pulled it back, and once again watched the bright red ooze out of the incision. It was both beautiful and tragic at the same time. But most things were.

She leaned in, ignoring how her light blond hair brushed up against the wounds, and got stained with blood. She could clean that up later. So all she did was pull it back behind her ear, and lean in closer. Her large, honey brown eyes traced over all of the wounds. The first ones were smaller, tentative. And then, as she grew accustomed to the pain, the had grown longer, and deeper. She hadn't used any kind of medicine to heal them. Yes, it was a pain to have to always wear long sleeves to try and hide her secret from those she loved. But she didn't want to be healed. She didn't deserve to be healed. This was her penance. One which she would gladly pay.

Once again, Sophie's hands pressed the blade against her arm, slowly applying enough pressure to slit skin. And then, the door handle twisted.

Sophie froze as time slowed. There was nothing she could do, no way to hide. She had forgotten to lock her door. Stupid!

She watched, frozen in horror as the door began to open. "Hey, Foster! You need a hug? You're emotions are going-" The teasing voice was stopped abruptly, and Sophie looked down. She couldn't face him right now. She couldn't look into those pools of Ice blue eyes, and watch as he saw how weak she really was.

"Sophie." Keefe's voice was terrified. "Sophie what are you doing?" She felt him rush close to her, she felt his eyes as they latched onto her bloody, scarred wrists. But she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. She couldn't even talk. "Sophie." Keefe's voice was beginning to crack with emotion, and Sophie felt guilt start to form. This was her fault.

 _Your fault. Your fault. Your fault._

The voice in her head was stuck on repeat echoing around until it was all that she could hear. If filled her mind, her ears, her very soul. Everything was her fault.

She felt herself begin to break. Her felt her very essence begin to shatter as waves of emotions overtook her. It would be so easy to just let herself sink, to let the currents drag her head under the depth of the dark, murky water. Drowning didn't seem so bad anymore. She could just die. She just wanted to die.

What else could she do? It was her fault.

She let go, felt her grasps on reality release, and she was tumbling into a world of blackness. Nor scary blackness. Peaceful blackness. This was how everything was going to end.

Noting existed. Nothing and everything existed all at once. Every way was up, and no way was up. Every way was down, and yet, no way was down. It was similar to how she felt while teleportation. Just so much better.

Sophie could feel everything shatter. She could feel it all crumble down. And she was ready to go down with it. And then, soft, ice blue wisps were piercing the everlasting darkness, filling up the empty void with hope. With happiness. With laughter.

And with love.

And it was only then that Sophie remembered how much she loved the light.

So she latched on to the warm blue as it swept through her mind, illuminating everything like she had never seen before.

She could see so clearly. She could Silvney, in all her winged glory, flying free through the skies with Greyfall by her side.

She could see Havenfeild, with all its pastures, and all the strange animals who Sophie had come to love.

She could see her and her friends, playing basequest, running, soaring through the woods, the only sound the echoes of their laughter,

And then she could see a boy, only a year older than she herself way. She could see his perfect hair, his beautiful eyes, his cocky smirk. She could see everything about him. And, even though she had seen that same exact face every single day, it was like she had never really looked at him. Not until today.

And somehow, with every ounce of strength left inside of her, she pulled herself back.

It wasn't easy.

It was likely one of the hardest things she had ever done.

But it was necessary.

And so, Sophie pried her eyes open, forcing herself away from the dark. Keefe was trembling, clutching her close to his chest. It took her a moment to figure out that he was crying, and another after than to figure out she was too.

She expected to pull away. To yell and scream at him to leave. She expected to be horrified that Keefe had found her secret. But deep inside her chest, A part of her was filled with hope. Filled with a hope what he would be able to save her from this nightmare that she had been forced to live. The nightmare that seemed like it would never end.

"Keefe." Sophie croaked, surprised at how hoarse her voice was. Keefe cling to her tighter, and only whispered 'Never again, Sophie. Never again." Over and over.

"Never again." Sophie agreed. Keefe pulled away, his eyes puffy. He gently grabbed her wrists, and inspected the wounds.

"Elwin." Was all he managed to say. Sophie shook her head wildly, curling up into a ball. "Elwin." Keefe repeated, his voice more insistent this time.

"I deserve that pain. I deserve the pain." Sophie repeated the words that she had though so many times. She spoke over and over. Because she did.

"No matter what, you could never deserve that." Keefe said, holding her as if both of their lives depended on it. But Sophie ignored him, continuing to chant the words like they were helping instead of making everything so much worse.

She shut her eyes, willing herself back into the darkness. But before she could, something soft pressed up against her lips, sending fluttery things soaring throughout her body, making to seem almost as if an electric shock was being sent through her.

Keefe was kissing her.

And she finally let herself start to believe him. She didn't deserve what she had been doing to herself. This were going to get better.

Not right away, of course. Sophie knew that the journey to recovery was going to be long, and bumpy, and treacherous. It might take years for her to fully recover. And things might never be exactly the same as they used too.

But right now, they were taking baby steps.

And this was the first one.

 **Right, Well I hope you enjoyed that. Actually, on second though, I hope you didn't. That's not something I made to be enjoyed. That's something I made to try and make you feel something. I don't know if that makes since, but whatever.**

 **So, The next part of this A/N will be going into very personal stuff that i have never shared with anyone. If you don't want to read it, skip it. I really don't care.**

 **Okay, I know you might have questions, so I'm going to try and answer them now.**

 _Did this happen to me?_ **Not exactly. I have self harmed, and I'm trying to stop, but it's a work in progress. No one has ever caught me, and as of right now, you guys are the only one's who know. Yeah, I really need to tell somebody. It's just hard. But I'm going to talk to my therapist at my next appointment, So don't worry about me.**

Am I currently considering suicide? **Okay, that's a little harder to answer. Some of you may know that I have sever depression, and it's been an issue for a while now. Am I actually thinking about a plan to take my own life? No. I do have suicidal thoughts, which is just sometimes thinking that the world would be better without me, or that I would be better off dead, or that I just don't want to live anymore. But I'm okay. I'm talking to people about it.**

 _Have I ever attempted suicide?_ **A few months ago, I did have a plan. And yes, I did attempt it. I tried to overdose on tylenol. Why didn't I do it? Well, I'm not sure if this is a sign from god, or just plain luck, but the pill bottle lid got jammed. And I ended up falling asleep, and I was a little more sensible in the morning.**

 _ **Am I okay?**_ **All I can say to this one is I will be.**

 _ **Is this an accurate representation of how and why people cut themselves?**_ **Well, everyone's experience is a little different. For example, I didn't have access to a razor when I did it, so I used a knife. And different people have different reasons, but this was an accurate representation of how I did it.**

 _ **What should I do if I want to hurt and/or kill myself?**_ **First of all, don't. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but please don't. First, talk to a friend or parent or someone you trust. Trust me, hearing other people tell you that everything is going to be okay helps a lot. Also, if you don't feel comfortable talking to a friend, try a suicide hotline. I know that you might think that it won't help now, but sometimes having someone you can talk to is good, especially when you know that you'll never have to see them again. The number for the suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255.** **If, after you do all these things, you still want to do it, sleep on it. It is so easy to make such hasty decisions that you will end up regretting when you are in a bad mental space. Sometimes, just getting a good night of sleep can make you realize how irrational you were being. And above all, remember that you are so important. There are people who will suffer without you. You are not alone, and you never will be. You can do this. It may not seem like it, but you really can. You are stronger than you could ever know.**

 **Well, that's all I can think of for now. If you have any more questions, don't be shy to ask them in the reviews or send my a message. I will be responding to each review personally.**

 **And that's all I have for today. Bye lovelies.**


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